Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 02.07.2025 21:05

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

36 Wildly Entitled People From This Month Who Might As Well Have Just Screamed "It's All About ME!" - BuzzFeed

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Meta found 'covertly tracking' Android users through Instagram and Facebook - Sky News

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Heidi Fleiss Biopic, ‘One Of Them Days’ Sequel And Ang Lee’s Latest Among 48 Films Awarded $96M In California Tax Incentives - Deadline

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

How do I promote my book to get it reviewed and grow an audience if I already published it?

I can count

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

CPI Report Today: Dow Futures Slip; U.S. and China Agree Trade Truce Framework - WSJ

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Tyler Boyd would welcome a chance to play for the Steelers - NBC Sports

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

The USB-C dream is dead and it’s too late to revive it - Android Authority

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can read

Apple’s Craig Federighi on the long road to the iPad’s Mac-like multitasking - Ars Technica

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand how hurricane paths work

The players who will dominate MLB trade deadline rumors — and how likely it is they’ll be moved - New York Post

I see through liars

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

How do you get a teenage boy to care about hygiene?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”